I’d rather be on The Monster Squad than The Goonies any day of the week. While many may argue that The Monster Squad is just a rip off of The Goonies, I beg to differ. In fact, The Monster Squad was the cooler club by a long shot. Don’t believe me? Let’s round up the facts:
First and foremost, The Monster Squad put down their foes, while the Goonies’ only defense against the Fratellis was to run. I mean, come on! Who wants to be part of a group that constantly has to flee from danger? The Monster Squad, on the other hand, was not afraid to face their fears head-on and take command of the situation. Talk about bravery!
Speaking of brave, let’s compare two characters: Chunk from The Goonies and Horace from The Monster Squad. Chunk, bless his heart, is scared of bullet holes. Yes, you read that right. Bullet holes! On the other hand, Horace puts bullet holes in monsters. That’s right, this guy takes down creepy creatures like it’s nobody’s business. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather have someone like Horace by my side when things get spooky.
Next up, let’s talk about romance, or lack thereof. While the Goonies apparently have their fair share of PG kisses, The Monster Squad almost lost because they couldn’t find a virgin. Now, that’s a whole other level of commitment to defeating monsters. It may not be your typical romantic storyline, but it certainly adds an interesting twist to their quest. Kudos to The Monster Squad for going the extra mile!
Let’s not forget the crucial factor of professionalism. The Monster Squad has business cards. Yes, you read that correctly. They are not just a bunch of kids running around in search of adventure, they are an organized and professional group. I mean, who wouldn’t be impressed by a bunch of kids handing out business cards? It shows they mean serious monster-hunting business.
Lastly, let’s address Data’s inventions. Sure, he may be the quirky inventor in The Goonies, but let’s face it, his gadgets hardly ever work. On the other hand, The Monster Squad has a wide array of weapons that actually function as intended. From stakes to silver bullets, you name it, they’ve got it. I don’t know about you, but I would feel a lot safer with a group that has reliable weapons at their disposal.
So there you have it – the facts are clear. Being in The Monster Squad would undoubtedly rule compared to being a Goonie. They not only face their foes head-on, but they also have fearless members like Horace, an interesting twist on romance, professional business cards, and a wide range of functional weapons. And let’s not forget the iconic line: “Wolfman has nards.” Need I say more?
Next time you find yourself longing for an adventurous crew to join, forget The Goonies and look no further than The Monster Squad. You won’t regret it.
