“Pow, right in the kisser!” Remember those good old comic slapstick expressions? Well, Jesse Ventura is bringing those animated hits to politics, and it’s as entertaining as watching a cat trying to climb a Slip ‘N Slide. Legend, former Minnesota governor, and professional wrestler – Jesse “The Body” Ventura, recently claimed in a whirlwind of audacity that he could out-muscle both Donald Trump and Joe Biden on the presidential battleground. While I try to stifle my laughter, let’s do a deep dive into this world championship wrestling title of a statement.
Everyone loves an underdog story, even, I guess, when the underdog is a hulking, mustachioed former wrestler turned politician (or is it the other way around?). It’s no secret that Ventura’s charisma and zing for life could rival a stand-up comedian’s. But can he grapple his way to the top of the political ladder?
Well, weigh-ins first, and Ventura isn’t a featherweight. He was the 38th governor of Minnesota (which isn’t Rhode Island, folks) and even floated a presidential bid in 2020. But we all know how that match ended. Despite getting less traction than a balding tire on an icy hill, Ventura’s spirit remains unbroken. That’s what he wants us to believe when he laughably asserts he could body-slam both Biden and Trump in a race for the presidency.
Checking the numbers on our heads for a ringside show, Ventura’s colorful claims mushroom into the land of Larry Laughter, especially when you consider Trump and Biden’s political heavyweight status. Still, on the off chance that this political steel cage match happened, what do the stats say?
In 2020, Trump bagged about 74 million votes, while Biden swept up a whopping 81 million. Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura’s best election performance in Minnesota scored him a modest 773,713 votes. Now, I’m no mathematician, but I think we could all agree that 773,713 is just a wee bit less than 81 million or 74 million. Just a smidge.
Sure, deciding an electoral match by popular vote is like saying you’d win a wrestling match based on your entrance music, but let’s face it, voters love a good wrestling theme. Jesse Ventura was a force in his time, and he certainly knows how to work the crowd. But can his brand of showmanship translate to votes? His past election performance and recent popularity polls indicate a Tyson-sized uppercut to his presidential hopes.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura was the stuff of legends in the wrestling ring, with the ability to spin an epic tale in and out of the ring. But wrestling and politics, while equally entertaining under the gleam of the spotlight, aren’t exactly two peas in a pod. ‘Flashy’ may work on the wrestling floor, but it doesn’t always translate well to the world of policymaking.
Laugh if you want – I’m still chuckling at the notion, but it’s important to remember one thing: Anything can happen in politics. Even quick pin counts. Even grand reversals. Every once in a while, the underdog comes out on top. Ventura knows this better anyone, considering his own audacious journey from wrestling to governing – an embodiment of the American dream, if ever there was one.
Funny as it may be, Ventura’s claims are far from being anything more than just that: claims. Still, his unwavering confidence somehow makes us pause — even if momentarily – to consider the show it would be. It delights and mystifies in a wonderfully absurd way, like a clown car doing stunts at a monster truck rally.
So here’s to Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura. May you continue to entertain us with your audacious dreams and remind us all that in the great wrestling match of American politics, it’s not over till the bell rings. Or until someone gets thrown over the ropes. Whichever happens first.
And hey, if this tickled your funny bone, why not share it with your friends for a good laugh? We all need a giggle and a bit of peculiarity to spice up our news feeds, don’t we?
